Friday, October 29, 2010

He said: "Things get in the way. Things find a way of getting into the house and once they're there, it's too late to get rid of them. Things win out every time. I don't know how they do it. I never see them coming in. They're so quiet about it that sometimes it isn't until a month or more goes by before I see something that's new and I have to ask 'where did you come from?'. By then, of course, they are already a fixture and I can't very well throw them out, can I? I mean, once they've made it into the house, they're there to stay. They have as much right to the house as I do. They have the same needs, some of them. They need looking after and need feeding, and need a safe place to be, one that they, and I, can agree on so that I know where they're living in my house in case I need them and I don't want to run around looking for them. I mean, if they're going to be living here, they have to obey the rules. But, in the end, things get in the way, no matter what you do to not have that happen. Things get in the way and that's what's sad about life."
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Thursday, October 28, 2010

She said: "You know? There is one thing that comforts me. When, actually, there are many things that comfort me, like the company of old friends, the last light of a full and fruitful day, the faces of my children; you know what I mean because you are the same way. But, there are some things that offer comfort that I only stumbled on relatively recently; it is always a pleasure to learn new things about life, even when you are very old, like I am. What I learned in the last month or two is that what you did in a past life, you don't have to do again. I used to have dreams about all the things I must have done when my soul belonged to someone else and some of those things were not nice. Some of the things my soul has experienced caused me trouble when I was young, because I felt responsible in some way. I know that sounds silly, but that's the way I am, I guess. So, I am happy to know that I don't have to relive the bad and awful things that I know my heart has seen in its long, long, life. I can just move on now, and there is some comfort there."
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

She said: "I feel broken. My body feels like it forgot about me, like we're no longer connected, my body and me. I feel used and I don't even know why. I feel like I'm playing a part instead of coming our and saying what I truly feel. I feel like the doctors and and 'care takers' are taking care of themselves, but not me. I feel that I'm shuffled from one 'specialist' to another and that they collect my sorry ass co-pay and move me on to the next expert, who then does the same routine on me and sends me on my way. I don't feel like I have any other life, but this one that involves a lot of travel to and from doctor's offices. This isn't the life I had mapped out for me when I was younger. I didn't even thing about doctors then. I didn't have any use for them. Now, they're closer to me than my own family. They know more about me than the people I love, and the don't seem right. That's just not right. And, that's why I feel broken."
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

He said: "What if I was the dream that the dreamer was dreaming. How different would my life be then? How could I tell that I was only a random dream happening while someone else was asleep? Could I wake myself up? Would the dreamer awaken and free me at some point? What would it mean if the Dreamer died, say, of a heart attack while he was asleep and dreaming the dream that was me. Would our two fates then be entwined forever? What action could free me from this dream or propel me into another. How do I know that I am now awake? Pinch me, please. Pinch me so that I can again be free of this dream and remember who I am."
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Monday, October 25, 2010

He said: "In our tribe, we tell stories about our people and about ourselves. This helps us to stay connected and to make a connection to others in our world. These stories are about the air around us and how the air supports us and warms us and carries us like the birds. Other stories are about the water and how the water is sacred, blessed even, because the water bathes us and washes away the dust of the day and tends to what grows in the ground. What you notice if you hear our stories is how common the themes of our stories are because we are a simply people and because the best stories have themes that are about us all, as a people. There is one aspect of our story telling that has newly come to me as an elder: What I notice is that everyone who tells a story, tells is differently. This makes our past richer and our future more of a surprise. And that, I think is good for us because surprise is a part of wakefulness, don't you agree?"
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Sunday, October 24, 2010

She said: "God knows how we got this way. I don't remember anything like this being discussed. It was just, wham, one day everything was different. The world became a scarier place than it had been. Everything got speeded up and the noises were louder and everything was flying around me faster that before. I don't like it. It makes me dizzy. I can't hardly catch my breath. I feel like I'm being pushed around for no good reason and I don't know who to tell about it. I just need a little time, I guess, to get used to how things are now. Maybe if I checked into one of those spa places for a week or so, I could get a grip on things and everything would stop being so loud and annoying and all. Maybe it's just as simple as that. I guess it might be worth the effort. All I know is that something has to change and I don't think it's going to be me."
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Saturday, October 23, 2010

He said: "I don't know anything about boys that makes them like they are. I don't know what crazy notions go through their heads. I was once a boy myself a long long time ago. But the things they think about now are things that I don't know. Boys play much harder now that they did back in the day. And the songs that they dance to and the songs that drive them crazy is music that I don't hear and that I don't play. I watch my son in the school yard. He's different there that at home. He's like his brother was at that age. He plays hard, eats fast and is gone. His brother was a wild one, always on the move. He needed something more than I or his mother could really give. My sons are rocket ships just waiting to blast off leaving us far behind, and I guess that's fair somehow. There' really not an answer; it's all or nothing, live fast, then die."
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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

He said: "It all resolves in the end. At the close of the day, the sun will set and our eyes will close. The sea will find its home and the birds will fly there, the labors of the day past will become becalmed and the earth will cool. Where we have been and what we have done will turn to gray images that will slowly fold upon the night and we will rest and we will stop and the Earth will turn and we will begin again a new day that will cover up what has been and will reveal what is yet to come."
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