Friday, October 21, 2011

She said: "We had to rename the band because ME left. I don't why. He never explained it all. He just walked away. So "Me And You" became "ENU. We dropped the M. Without the spaces between the letters, the Band's name became some kind of animal: Enu. That worked for a little while until we found out that there was another band with those initials. We could buy them out, or rename ourselves again. There is an old saying that my grandmother used when I was little. She used to say that "The devil gives with one hand, and takes it away with the other." I could see now how that could apply to us. So, we renamed the band "GaZabi" It wasn't listed anywhere and was just strange enough to be interesting. The drummer has to leave for health reasons. This time I think we'll just hire another drummer".
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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

He drove to the edge of nowhere and pulled off the road. He got out of the car and bent over the sand, vomiting. He felt dizzy and wet with sweat. When he closed his eyes he could almost believe she was alive and with him still. It was worse in the morning as he drifted from dream to wakefullness. He could touch her and smell her scent in his dreams. When he was conscious, he was again alone. He straightened up and wiped his sour mouth with his shirt sleeve. The sky was full of stars and it was late. Somewhere off he could hear music.
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Saturday, October 15, 2011

He said: "I have this feeling that I'm missing something. I have these thoughts that that it's already too late. I have these strange dreams that I'm floating on the water and I'm being pulled away from land and I don't know where I'm going, and I'm afraid of what I will find at the end of the sea that I am floating on. I have these feelings that I am alone and that the people I see are a mirage and are not real. I have these odd thoughts that come to me out of no where and that tell me that it is my time and that I must be here. I don't know where "here" is and I don't want to find out, really. I feel that I am being pulled somewhere by a force that I can't see or hear and that I don't know anything about. I feel that I am either here or that I'm gone. It doesn't make any sense, but then, it doesn't have to. If I am gone then I will surely soon be here."
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Friday, October 14, 2011

She said: "Sometimes it's hard to tell. Sometimes it's real hard to tell what the hell is going on. I really don't know from one minute to the next. I mean, I think it will go in one direction but I end up in another place all together. I don't know how that happens. I really try. I really do try to make it make sense somehow. I can't explain it. I don't have the words I need. Sometimes it makes me afraid a bit. Sometimes I think I'm loosing my mind, or the little bit that is left. I try not to let my family know that I don't know what's going on. I think they probably know by now, but no one is rude enough to say anything. "It's just the way Mom is." That's what I think they must say to one another. That's just the way she is." Bless them. I know it's hard on everyone. But it is especially hard on me. I just don,t know really. I just don't know."
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Thursday, October 06, 2011

He said: "I haven't had a good week. Everything seems like it happens all at once, you know? I lost my job last week. No particular reason. "Cutting costs" they told me. And what pisses me off is I know my salary is gonna be used to make some fat cat fatter. So, that was the start of my week. Next is I found out my wife is gonna take the kids and move in to her Mother's place. Says things haven't been so good for a long time between us. Says I drink too much and abuse the kids by yelling at them when I'm drunk. So, lost my job, lost my family. W.T.F.? Do I slit my throat or walk off the pier? I'm not a bad person. I know that's what everyone says. But, really, I'm not. I'm just down on my luck and pissed off at who I am and where I am and why didn't work out better for me and my family. I just don't know. But one thing I do know is that this is a wake up call. I want things to be right again. I can't do it alone by my self. I can do this thing. I know I can. If there's one thing I know about this stinking world is that when things fall apart, they also fall together."
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