You'd be hard pressed to place this image anywhere else but in America. Greece? Not hardly. Morocco? You must be smoking something. Sudan? Now I know you're crazy. It's got to be Nevada, south of Las Vegas. Where else could you find this kind of over-the-top design? Only in America, right? They brought in the fully grown palms and stuck them in the ground like they were candles on a birthday cake. Then they added lights and speakers for the non-stop music. When we were staying here the non-stop music was Tom Jones singing "Delilah". As hard as it is to believe, after three days, I didn't even hear it anymore. It was just aural wallpaper: Tom Jones singing "Why, Why, Why Delilah?” over and over again. God, take me now. As you can see, the palm trees surround an ornamental pool with a star motif. At each point of the star, there are spitting turtles endlessly spaying water into the pool. The center of the star held some shrubbery and red plantings of a color I have never before seen in nature. All of this in what had been, until very recently, dry, arid desert. But that's what I secretly like about Las Vegas. It's beyond Disneyland. It's beyond anything I can think of. The whole place is a hallucination, a fever dream, shimmering in the desert sand. After a few drinks, you even forget how weird it all lis.

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